I am not involved in the daily routine of my kids, it is difficult for me to show some affection to them.

 

I am not involved in the daily routine of my kids, it is difficult for me to show some affection to them.

We often debate the role of a mother in shaping the character and life of children since they spend maximum time with her. But, do we talk enough about the impact of a father’s presence in children’s lives? Traditionally, fathers are touted to be the sole bread-winners of a family. A father has little or nothing to do with parenting of the child which is largely considered a mother’s responsibility. But times have changed and so have the gender dynamics in our society. As mothers today step out to work, contributing to the family income, dads have their back by helping out in household chores and taking up parenting duties.

Research has revealed that fathers today have a better understanding of the importance of parenting and are actively taking part in it. They are spending three times as much time with their children as men did two generations ago.

In an analysis of over 100 studies on parent-child relationships, it was found that having a loving and nurturing father was as important for a child’s happiness, well-being, and social and academic success as having only a loving and nurturing mother.

Accompanying these changes has been a growing interest among researchers in studying the role that fathers play in the lives of their children. Below are some highlights of the current landscape of what the research says about today’s dads.

 Involved dads have a direct impact on their children’s future. Involved fatherhood is linked to better outcomes on nearly every measure of child wellbeing, from cognitive development and educational achievement to self-esteem and pro-social behaviour.

Families are strengthened by supporting fathers.  Fathers’ positive parenting skills, appropriate discipline, effective communication, emotional support, and stress management can have a double effect and it is an important step towards a happy family.

 Policies and programs specifically for dads are on the rise. India comes amongst 92 countries in the world without any national provisions for paid paternity leave. The ‘Super Dads’ initiative is part of UNICEF’s #Early Moments Matter campaign.

  Dads find immense value from their participation in programs. Fathers who attend fatherhood programs find it of great value to understand their role in a child’s upbringing.

 Fathers Set the Bar for Relationships with children in the family.

Fathers and Their Daughters Young girls depend on their fathers for security and emotional support. A father shows his daughter what a good relationship with a man is like. If a father is loving and gentle, his daughter will look for those qualities in men when she is old enough to begin dating. If a father is strong and valiant, she will relate closely to men of the same character.

Fathers and Their Sons There are many things you can do to develop a strong bond with your son.

While they are young, you can engage in boisterous play outside, read a books build with Legos, or play a game. Once they are older and have more defined interests, try to participate in the things they enjoy, too.

As they grow up, they are forced to navigate and wrestle with a lot of big issues. For this reason, fathers need to have regular conversations about those big issues.

      Take the time to talk to your son about sex and relationships. Being open to having these conversations will help your son develop better attitudes about sex and romantic partners in general. Be sure to also have age-appropriate conversations about everything 

Teaching your son about how to handle money is one of the most important skills you can provide them with. Discuss the importance of savings, budgeting and investing, while giving them opportunities to practice their skills

Peer Presure - Talk to your son about what they can do if they are pressured to do something they are not comfortable with, especially when it comes to smoking, drinking alcohol, and using drugs. Equip them with the tools needed to respond to peer pressure in a healthy way.

Focusing on your son, spending positive time together, and talking about life lessons, scattered with a large dose of quiet and engaged listening, will help you develop a nurturing and meaningful relationship with your son. Your efforts also will help your son form attitudes that allow them to develop into an upstanding person in the richest sense of the word.

Fathering does not occur naturally or easily. But you can learn to be more patient, more giving, more loving, more generous, and more forgiving than you ever thought you would be.

So today, don’t forget to tell your son or daughter you love them, and thanks for being there!

By

Dr. Mona Shah

Occupational Therapist , Clinical Psychologist