Why Time & Emotion are the Essence of a Relationship

 

Why Time & Emotion are the Essence of a Relationship

Most of us feel incredibly frustrated when it comes to time. I am constantly hearing my patients tell me, “I don’t have enough time” The main concept Einstein shares in respect to relativity is that “you are time, you are where time comes from.” And “since you are the producer of time, you can make as much of it as you need.”

 

One of the most important things is that you get clear on your relationship with the energy that you are bringing to your time, so that you can make a shift in your relationship with time. When you focus on time and on something you can’t control, it creates stress. You need to focus on the things that you can control and then you bring your best energy. It is Important to manage your emotions with respect to time, how you interact with others, how you get your attention on the things that are most important for you to do.

 

Our brain, is split into two parts.  Logical part of our brain deals with what we do with our time. And the emotional side of our brain, which has a greater influence on how we show up for the time that we have. We have got to be very clear that we are managing the side of our brain that is emotional, so that we are not bringing unproductive emotions and energy to the work and to our family that creates resistance. If we find ourselves sabotaging our time, it is because we are spending too much of our time in anger, sadness, hurt, fear, guilt, shame. And these emotions stops our family from moving forward.

 

The way we interpret and respond to our feelings has a major impact on our behaviour, choices, and how well we cope with and enjoy life. Prime importance is self-care and wellbeing.

 

Making some time for your individual self allows you to practice self-care as well as helps to take care of the people in your life that you love.  A moment to pursue your own passions, some moment of your liking, while having a little vacation away from your responsibilities as partner and/or parent does a world of good.  You re-join your relationship roles with energy and possibly new insights into your appreciation for your loved ones.

 

If you are parents, your dynamics as a couple is a very important mirror to showcase your children.  Mutual agreement of a concern or time management in your own family or extended family offers healthy relationship amongst all.

 

Think about all the different feelings you have every day – from surprise to shame, elation to empathy – and how you react to each emotion. Over time, you get to know what situations or experiences are likely to upset you and how you can manage your emotions when these arise.

 

Children also have times when they can feel overwhelmed or out of control but, because of their age, they have had less time and opportunity to learn about managing their feelings.  Emotional development is a complex process that begins in infancy and continues into adulthood.

Emotional development starts with young kids:

·        Learning what feelings and emotions are

·        Understanding how and why they happen

·        Recognising their own feelings and those of others

·        Developing effective ways of managing them

 

As kids grow and are exposed to different situations, their emotional lives also become more complex. Developing skills for managing a wide range of emotions is really important role parents have to follow for their child’s emotional wellbeing. 

When adults respond to children’s cues and help them manage feelings of uncertainty, helplessness, or being overwhelmed, kids feel safe and trust that they have someone to help when they need it.

·        Helping them to slow their breathing down – by blowing bubbles or pretending to blow out birthday candles – and encouraging them to take deep breaths.

·        Developing a strategy to use when they are feeling out of control, such as having a calm thought or picture; taking time out by reading a calming story together; or talking with you or another supportive adult about how they feel.

·        Expressing their emotions in productive ways – this might include drawing, using playdough or acting their feelings out with toys.

·        Increasing their ‘feel good’ hormones through exercise, positive social experiences, a healthy diet, and plenty of rest.

Start to appreciate life in the present moment. Time seems to slip away when you are living in the past or dreaming of the future. Each moment truly can be precious when you learn to really value what it has as it comes. It can be hard to train our minds to get back to that place, but it absolutely helps us be in sync with time.

By

Dr. Mona Shah

Occupational Therapist, Clinical Psychologist