How does a child interpret Parent Behaviour ?
How does a child interpret Parent Behaviour?
What is the impact of Family on a Child’s Behaviour?
Parents have a lot
to complain – Things Like they shout, they back answer, they don’t have
manners, they are very rude, not completing their work on time, not
understanding their responsibilities, very arrogant, throwing tantrums,
careless, even hitting back etc…
Now it’s my turn to
ask the child what he or she thinks about it..
And not
surprisingly, they also have a big list of complaints against their parents and
even justification for their behaviour.
Your children will
BECOME what you are, so be what you want them to be
If you want your
children to be a disciplined, well-mannered and idealistic
It is very
important that you Shud be one of that yourself.
Parents has their
excuses for their behaviour like we are busy and have lot of work or we are
stressed ---
It doesn’t matter
to a child. Child definitely learns what they see with their eyes and what they
hear from their ears.
Children are like sponges--they model everything a
parent does and incorporate what they see into their own lives. It is important
that parents set the right examples for their children. Negative examples can
be detrimental to a child’s development and can lead to bad behaviour.
Parents often have difficulty
telling the difference between variations in normal behaviour and true behavioural
problems. In reality, the difference between normal and abnormal behaviour is
not always clear; usually it is a matter of degree or expectation. Frequently,
parents over interpret or overreact to a minor, normal short-term change in behaviour.
At the other extreme, they may ignore or downplay a serious problem. They also
may seek quick, simple answers to what are, in fact, complex problems. All of
these responses may create difficulties or prolong the time for a resolution.
So If parents think
their child’s behaviour is a cause of concern it’s time for parents to accept
that they need to change. And some wise man has said that acceptance is not a
hopeless position, it’s the only position from which you can grow. There is
peace of mind in the acceptance of bad and your intention to do the right thing.
Whether they are your parents, your spouse, or your children- your behaviour
with each one of them matters.
Let’s see what science has to say about it...
According to a research done by the University of
Chicago published in the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, social skills
can be interpreted as everything from a very basic polite “please” and “thank
you” to speaking in front of a crowd. Children model their parents and learn
from them.
There's some credence to the phrase "Happy wife, happy life." According
to researcher's Mom's
happiness is twice as important as Dad's when it comes to child’s mental health
and behaviour. It is important in either case whether they are staying together
or apart.
Researchers
also studied how a child’s persistence was affected by what adults said, such
as "Trying hard is important." Children persisted the most when
adults themselves expended extra effort in a task and talked about the
necessity of pushing hard, even when things got difficult.
If
arguing among parents is done fairly and with maturity, a child can actually
benefit from seeing how conflicts are resolved. Verbal and physical fights are
extremely hard on kids, warns the Psychologist. Children may blame themselves
for their parents’ arguments and can be traumatised for years to come. Children
may develop low self-esteem and may even behave violently toward other
children. Dysfunctional families breed dysfunctional children. Children often
repeat this behaviour in their future relationships.
Child
abuse causes a range of antisocial and destructive behaviours. This is because
abused children try to cope and understand why they are being abused. Parents
who abuse their children may cause their children to be aggressive and violent,
experience learning problems and even become involved in substance abuse.
Parents who abuse provide the opposite of what a child needs for a healthy
growth. Instead, they destroy the inside and outside world of a child.
Parental
participation in children's activities, like outdoor exploration or reading
books together, has been shown to lead to a more social child. Children who
engage in play activities with their parents jump right into games when they
start school and show more independent behaviour in those situations. Having
their parents show an interest in their activities develops a strong sense of
self belief in the child.
Divorce
has long been linked to behaviour problems and anxiety in children. This is
because Single parents often must take on more hours at work to meet financial
responsibilities, which can lead to children feeling neglected and left out, thereby
causing them to experience the effects of economic instability. However, it is
not the divorce itself that affects children's behaviour so much as it is the
way that the parents handle the divorce. In cases where both parents mutually and
amicably decide on the divorce and choose to co-parent, both making decisions
and providing for the child, the negative effects of divorce are lessened.
Nurturing
relationships in a family are critical for the healthy development of a child.
If a child feels safe, secure, and loved in their family, it helps with the
formation of their self-esteem and well-being. It can also lead to a child who
is more socially competent and has better communication skills than a child who
does not feel these family connections.
To
summarise in the words of BAPU
“There is no school equal to a decent home and no teacher equal to a
virtuous parent.”
By
Dr. Mona Shah
Occupational Therapist, Clinical
Psychologist
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