Most Successful Kids Have Parents Who Do These Things

 

 Most Successful Kids Have Parents Who Do These Things

 Any good parent wants their kids to stay out of trouble, do well in school, and go on to do awesome things as adults, and while there is not a set recipe for raising successful children, psychology research has pointed to a handful of factors that predict success. Unsurprisingly, much of it comes down to the parents. Here is what parents of successful kids have in common:

1] They have healthy relationships with each other.

Children in high-conflict families, whether intact or divorced, tend to fare worse than children of parents that get along.

 According to study of Illinois study review They make sure Mom is happy There's some credence to the phrase "Happy wife, happy life."

It turns out that all outcomes were more linked with the mother's initial happiness, compared with the father's. Studies have found children in non - conflictual single parent families fare better than children in conflictual two-parent families. The conflict between parents prior to divorce also affects children negatively, while post-divorce conflict has a strong influence on children's adjustment. When mothers are stressed because of the juggling with work and trying to find time with kids, that may affects their kids poorly, Research shows that if a parent is exhausted or frustrated, that emotional state could transfer to the kids.

 

 2] They role-model persistence and teach 'grit.'

 Imagine what your child's future would look like if he or she had the ability to persist in the face of challenges. Apparently, how you model your own persistence as a parent has a lot to do with it, say researchers . They also studied how the kids' persistence was affected by what adults said, such as "Trying hard is important." Children persisted the most when adults themselves expended effort at a task and talked about the necessity of pushing through, even with things get hard. 

Grit is defined as a "tendency to sustain interest in and effort toward very long-term goals," It is about teaching kids to imagine — and commit — to a future they want to create.

 

3] They get engaged with their child's learning

 According to researchers  in England regarding parental engagement and child academic achievement, children who received "sensitive caregiving" in their first three years not only did better in academic tests in childhood, but had healthier relationships and greater academic attainment in their 30s.They found that parents help young children the most by reading to them, listening to them read, helping them learn letters, numbers, songs and nursery rhymes, interacting positively with them and modelling parental literacy. When kids are older, they do better in school when their parents go on field trips, participate in the classroom, show an interest in school and monitor how kids are doing with homework and tests.

4] They teach their kids math early on. Or get them to take music lessons.

A 2007 meta- analysis of 35,000 preschoolers across the US, Canada, and England found that developing math skills early can turn into a huge advantage. Survey of the parents of kids’ ages seven to 17 who were currently participating in some kind of private music lesson and found that the majority of parents see several ways music lessons help their kids manage their time and attention. The daily practice involved in preparing to meet with a music instructor builds diligence and perseverance. Eighty-five percent feel that lessons have improved their child's patience, resiliency and ability to finish tasks, even hard ones.

5] They value effort over avoiding failure.

Where kids think success comes from also predicts their attainment. Over decades, Stanford University psychologist has discovered that children (and adults) think about success in one of two ways. 

A "fixed mind - set" assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static and success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence, Striving for success and avoiding failure at all costs become a way of maintaining the sense of being smart or skilled.

A "growth mind - set," on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of un-intelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities.

Growth mind set parenting helps kids for continuous effort and build resilience too.

 

By 

Dr. Mona Shah

Occupational Therapist, Clinical Psychologist